Oh, all right!
Hold your horses,
for crap's sake!
Whadda you want? What is it?!
Ma'am, we have reason to
believe your grandson, Gibbs,
is on Mercury.
I told you ten times already,
that boy'd sooner cut off his
own arm than call
his grandmother!
Well, isn't that always
the way?
You know, my own grandchildren
haven't visited in, I'd say
about...
Yep, cold and alone, that's me.
Third time this week!
What, do I have
an asshole tree in the front
yard I don't know about?
Oh my!
This isn't right!
What about this way?
Oh, that is right...
What is this filth?!
Hey! I was watching that!
Children shouldn't watch
garbage.
Go wash your hands for dinner.
But we're missing it!
Don't worry, we're the only
ones in the universe
not watching Jodi betray
her friends with her clitoris.
They're just wrestling,
Willie...
How come we never wrestle
like that anymore, dear?
Uh...
If that's wrestling,
Gibbs is really, really trying
to tap out.
With his balls.
Sir, a new sex tape
has been released!
Gary, I don't need to be
updated every time Sasha makes
a terrible life choice...
No, sir!
Not your daughter!
Jodi?
Bring me a presidential sock.
Oh! My God.
When did you...?
Huh. Wa... what?
Ha. That was years ago!
Look at me,
I'm a newspaper face!
Does this turn you on?
Um, I guess?
"Gibbs attacks IO"?
That was yesterday!
Ohhhhhm, ho ho ho!
You've been a bad girl,
Jodi Yanarella!
Slut! Whore!
Harlot!
Bad girl!
I don't approve.
Suddenly every hair on
my body is standing on end.
Yep...
every hair.
I don't think we're welcome
on this planet anymore.
Listen up, ladies!
There's a giant robot
on our lawn!
Who's allowed on our lawn?
Nobody!
What'll we tell 'em?
Get the hell off of our lawn!
Damn right!
And we're gonna... Bingo?!?
You're on latrine duty,
mister!
Me and Buzzard are the best
chance you've got against
Titan Maximum.
You should have thought
of that before you and your
copilot tag-teamed my daughter!
She's 58, General.
You know what they say...
"If there's snow on the field,
plow it from both ends!"
Ha ha ha!
When this is all over, you've
got a date with a court martial!
But...
but you're the best damn pilot
we've got.
Now get to your ship!
Last night Doris
and I had the steamiest night
of our lives!
Doris died a week ago.
My point still stands.
Ugh, can we watch anything
besides soap operas by old
people, for old people?
Cartoons are bad for you.
I didn't say "cartoons!"
I'm not eight years old anymore!
Maybe I'd change it for
a grandchild who sent a card
once in a while.
My salisbury steak is still
frozen in the middle.
And the edges. Owwww!
Children should be seen
and not heard.
Okay.
Dinner's been fun, grandma.
We're gonna use your garage now.
As long as you don't touch
my collection of ceramic clowns.
Like I would!
Are you skipping?
It's like I can't help it!
I'm just so...
happy!
I'm picking up a massive
whore approaching, Willie.
Set our whore shields
to full power.
Palmer...
I was talking about you, Jodi!
You're the whore!
This isn't even on.
It's not what it looks like!
Oh yeah?
What was he really doing,
Jodi, giving you a strep test?
Maybe she had to...
wrestle Gibbs to find out
where he was going!
She had to...
give him the...
I feel dumb even saying that...
you should.
What are those decrepit old
corpses up to?
Everyone to their ships!
We'll deal with you later.
And by "deal with you"
I mean replace you with someone
who knows the difference
between "arresting" someone
and "blowing" them.
Titan Force Five!
You are ordered
to leave the planet immediately!
Are you dumb fossils hard
of thinking?
If we leave, Gibbs has
the planet to himself!
We can handle anything that
comes our-
come on, when was your last
right turn?
Ten miles ago?
Turn your blinker off!
Aw, dammit.
Palmer!
Stand down and retreat!
Ha ha ha, that's hilarious.
Leave the comedy to me, Admiral!
Orange you glad I didn't
say banana?
Boom! That's comedy.
Now tell these bonebags
to step aside so we can
capture Gibbs!
Gibbs has already compromised
your team...
with his wang!
Return to Titan for immediate
reassignment!
I'm not coming home without
Gibbs' taint in my glove box!
Palmer out!
Enough foreplay, team!
It's time to form
Titan Maximum!
Well, that transformation
sequence always takes about
30 seconds.
Get me Bingo!
Sky ops to rogue wolf,
you are "go" to engage target.
Copy that.
You feelin' it, Bingo?
Yep, I'm feelin' the need...
The need to pee!
Ahhhhhhhh...
Dammit!
Where's Rogue Wolf?
All right, it's hero time!
Just let me flush the waste
reservoir!
Remember, they swapped the
flush lever with the eject...
Aah!
Buzzard!
Sweet, beautiful Buzzard.
You shot down our best pilot!
Blow them away!
My God...
We're at war with Mercury!
Wait five seconds, Captain.
Eight hundred tons of cease-fire
is gonna land right abouuuuut...
Palmer!
I've picked up an unknown bogey,
and it's coming in fast!
Is it Gibbs?
Let's find out.
Jodi, are your nipples hard?
Shut up.
No.
Now.
What the hell is that?
My sensors are picking up
quadplex military systems.
It's Martian!
My sensors are picking up
five dumb assholes
in a sardine can.
It's Titan Maximum!
I know that voice...
like a scrotum howling
on a cold winter's night...
It's Troy Hammerschmiddtt!
Titan Maximum, say hello...
to Titan Megamum!
The most advanced robot
ever built...
The perfect match for the most
handsome pilot ever born!
Titan "Megamum"?
"Megamum" isn't even a word.
Neither is "vaginacillin,"
but that didn't stop you from
using it as the title
for your third album...
Or your fragrance line.
Wait! Wait, wait!
Hammerschmiddtt Motors was
barred from building war
machines after the Mars-Titan
peace treaty!
A-ha! You're breaking
interplanetary law, buttplug!
So are you!
Dad didn't build Titan
Megamum for Mars.
He built it for Titan.
What?!?
That's right!
A Mars-Titan co-production,
created to crush Gibbs...
and replace you.
The way Sasha replaced her soul
with a vacuous need for fame
and penises.
Replaced, huh?
Willie, call HQ and tell them
we accidentally jammed their
new robot's legs into its
fucking eyes sockets!
Please, there isn't
a move you can make
I haven't predicted.
Oh, really?
Did you predict this?
N... no!
Welcome to your worst
nightmare, Sasha Caylo.
A crotch you can't touch.
There's no such thing!
I could do this all day,
but my foot has a date with
Gibbs' ass.
We're getting
digitally violated!
Uh.
I'm completely locked out!
Arrrrrrgh!
Bitchface gave him our
command codes!
Start squealing, piggies,
'cause I'm sending your asses
all the way home!
T-r-o-y!
Why? Because I rock!
Oh.
We're headed for Titan.
I can't override it.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!
No!
Everyone I really messed...
aaaand...
that's all we have time for.
I've got a bearing on a large
deposit of atomic fuel.
You hear that, General?
All right, your new robot
can stay.
But anything you people break,
you're gonna pay for!
We're on a fixed income,
dammit...!
My insides are full
of rainbows!
Bad enough you build another
robot behind our backs,
but Gibbs is on Mercury
and we're getting reassigned?
Reassigned where,
your mom's house?
Oh, did I say reassigned?
I meant decommissioned.
Disassemble these ships
piece by piece,
then melt down the pieces
and turn them into a giant
statue of my balls
in Palmer's mouth.
What?
Now that we have
Titan Megamum,
Titan Maximum is done.
What's all the racket
in here?!
Is that for the science fair?
Sure, fine.
It's for a science fair.
Oww!
Be a dear, don't chop off
my grandmother's head.
I thought it was maybe
Titan Force Five.
Ha! Don't be so jumpy,
my little frog.
Jodi has days of explaining
to do before they'll even get
near their ships.
We're home free.
I feel a draft!
Close that damn window!
All that hard work, Leon.
Gone.
Palmer was this close
to seeing me as an equal...
Iook what you did! You made
my little sister cry!
Okay, how's her punishment going
to work?
Like birthday spankings,
only harder?
Jodi aided and abetted
a fugitive,
and consorted with the enemy.
It's textbook treason.
She'll never take another
free breath as long
as she lives.
Fine fine.
Good.
Sounds-sounds about right.
I went ahead and set all
the radio stations for you.
Hope you like music
that kicks ass.
And I hope you like one
solar system, under Gibbs,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for
fucking nobody.
Eh.
I can take it or leave it.
You better not be
high-fiving in there!